Musings of Navigating The Finite remainder of life from Porchville, with the hope of a glimpse of The Infinite

Sunday, March 31, 2013

The Proust Questionnaire

Marcel Proust 1871 - 1922
If not yourself, who would you be?
Answer:  A short story writer. 

I have been rather uninspired as of late and my blog has suffered for it.  I ran into a neat questionnaire at  Jo's Majority of Two and Carol's Giraffe Dreams.  I quit reading their answers and copied the questions into my word processor.  After careful contemplation,  I then answered the questions and will now post them here for your edification and horror.   

The questionnaire is named after Marcel Proust, author of the famous À la recherche du temps perdu,  In Search of Lost Time,  also known as Rememberance of Things Past. The novel is in published in seven volumes and is longer than 4000 pages. Proust did not devise the questionnaire, he only answered it, twice, but somehow his name became associated with the questionnaire. 

So here we go, a look into the twisted mind of Sextant:

What is your greatest fear?
 1) Losing my wife.  2) Accidentally seriously injuring or killing someone.  

Which historical figure do you most identify with?
None.  I admire many though.  FDR, Eleanor Roosevelt, Churchill, Ike, George Marshall, Patton, Truman, George Washington. 

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Ineffectuality and laziness. 

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Intellectual arrogance. 

What is your greatest extravagance?
Buying tons of books and never reading them.  

What is your favorite journey?
My wife and I driving down a two lane country road with no particular destination.  No one is in front of us or behind us.  

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

On what occasion do you lie?
It might be easier to list when I am truthful, but generally to keep from hurting others.

What do you dislike most about your appearance?
There is nothing that I like about my appearance.  Choosing favorites has never been my strong point. 

Which living person do you most despise?
Again I have trouble with picking favorites.  I can often place myself in the top 10.  

What is your greatest regret?
Not being a better son, husband, and father.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My wife, Lady Sextant. 

When and where were you happiest?
Happy is a strong term (see motto), probably now.

Which talent would you most like to have?
Keen intellectual analysis. 

What is your current state of mind?
Muddled and sinus head-achey.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Add 30 points of IQ. 

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Marrying my wife, Lady Sextant. 

What is your most treasured possession?
I never been great at picking favorites.  Should I like my Kindle better than my furnace?  

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Lack of love, abject poverty,  homelessness, and hopelessness. 

Where would you like to live?
Pacific North West, British Columbia, on the shore of a rainy and foggy bay.  

If not yourself, who would you be:
I have no idea, but definitely not myself.  EDIT:  Morgan Freeman, in every way except not an actor and not rich.  

What is your most marked characteristic?
Opening my stupid mouth, when I should keep it closed. 

What do you most value in your friends?
Heart to heart candor.

Who are your favorite writers?
Too numerous to say.

Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
None, but I will default to Richard Ford’s Frank Bascombe of Sportswriter, Independence Day, and The Lay of the Land.  

Who are your heroes in real life?
Alive, Mary Robinson former President of Ireland.  Hoping for Elizabeth Warren.  Deceased:   Richard Feynman, Marie Curie,  Albert Einstein, and Lise Meitner. 

What is it that you most dislike?
Shit stirring.  Nasty dissension for the purpose of dissenting nastily. 

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
Another horse’s ass.  I perfected it in this life, why change?  

The Kiss, Rodin
Hard as rock.  We tried sir, but we could not
separate them.  They will have to be laid
to rest in the same casket.  Will the viewing
be open casket, sir?

How would you like to die?
Instantaneously in a gas explosion at the moment of truth while making love to Lady Sextant on her 100th birthday.  I want us to be all melted together, except our faces which will reflect an centenarian afterglow.  The heat of the explosion will melt the soft tissue which then cools into an impermeable igneous plastic residue resistant to bacteria.  The undertaker will make several attempts at separating our melted bodies to no avail.  Our prude son will have to bury us in a single casket and explain to the mourners why it is that both his parents are in a single casket, not to mention getting a 2fer funeral and burial.  Think of the savings!  How better to spend eternity than melted together in the arms of the woman I love? 

What is your motto?
"Being Irish he had an abiding sense of tragedy which sustained him through temporary periods of joy.” W. B. Yeats

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