This happened to a guy I know, but not necessarily on Valentine's Day. Guy meets girl, they go on a date. They kind of like each other, go on a few more dates. Yeah this has possibilities. So at some point, they get to that point...you know! That happy, let's have our first roll in the hay, point. Negotiations are made...they are going out for a romantic dinner and then she is going to spend the night at his place...and you know what will happen then.
As this guy is telling this story, I sigh, and like a teen age girl from the 50s, my little heart is pitter pattering with romantic excitement for his story.
So he takes her to an expensive steak house. In his superior male wisdom he orders her steak, how he thinks it should be prepared. Oh this is going to be a special dinner, he is going to instruct her how to enjoy a good steak.
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| A1 Destroying Intimate Evenings Since 1831 |
Their steaks come. She grabs the bottle of A1 and dumps a liberal portion on her steak....
He blows up at her saying something to the effect "You fool, if I knew you were going to ruin that steak I would have taken you to Ponderosa!" He made rather a huge fuss attracting the looks of other diners, but he didn't care...she ruined his precious steak!
So ladies, I ask you, how does the rest of evening play out? Here you are in a restaurant, your little overnight bag is packed with some special delicates and is out in his car in the parking lot, and he goes into a category 5 rage over you putting A1 on your steak.
She storms out of the restaurant. He lets her go. Details of how she got back home are unknown. He remains and finishes his dinner, PO'd about having to pay for a ruined steak, and goes home alone.
Heart no longer pitter pattering, I asked him, didn't it bother you that you humiliated her in the restaurant? "No man, she ruined an expensive steak."
Didn't it bother you that your plans for what should have been a wonderful night went up in smoke? "After what she did to that steak, I didn't want to sleep with her." Except that is not exactly how he put it. Yeah, he used the f dash dash dash word.
Oh good God! You are one sick bastard. I could not believe it. If that had been me, she could have dumped saw dust on the damned steak, what the hell do I care? I would have been floating on cloud nine with anticipation for what was ahead. A steak? You blow this over a steak! A f---ing steak! I could have punched him.
Full disclosure: I don't really care for steak. Its Ok if you smother it in A1, but to be honest, I would rather have a good hamburger.
Epilogue: They did get back together. They have been sort of living together on and off for about 5 years. She wants to get married...he will have nothing to do with it.
I don't know the woman, but if she was a friend...I would tell her to run. This guy ain't worth her.
Happy Valentines Day.
Image Credit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A1_Steak_Sauce
Sextant! I thought this was going to be a mushy, sweet story of true love where the couple goes riding off into the sunset towards eternal bliss and instead you give me REALITY???
ReplyDeleteWTH?...lol.
Happy Valentines Day my friend, to you and your beloved. May you end this day the way that idiot in your story thought he was going to end his :-D
Alicia,
ReplyDeleteIt does have a rather cruel twist does it not? Fear not, we are going out for Italian at her favorite restaurant. I could care less what she puts on her pasta!
I am not a fan of condiments myself, but, unless she had put the A-1 on his steak ....... You say they got back together and she now wants to marry himShe needs counseling.
ReplyDeleteKathy,
DeleteYeah couldn't you just throttle her? With the evening they had planned she could have dumped saw dust on my steak, I wouldn't have cared.
Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
She wants to marry him...that only proves her poor judgement with the steak sauce was no fluke.
ReplyDeleteTimoteo,
DeleteI take it you are not in the A1 camp. Good point! Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Sextant, you old romantic. You could be the new age writer of Harlequin Romances.
ReplyDeleteJust when you think you know the ending, bang, Sextant throws a curve ball.
Romance novels by Sextant. Even has a good ring to it.
Yeah it had sort of a Nicholas Sparks ending. Busman, the cow has not been born that I would jeopardize a trip down the yellow brick road over a steak or a side beef for that matter. I guess it all depends on how you define heaven on Earth, and I'll tell you right now, I have never found it at a dinner table. Thanks for commenting.
DeleteOy vey. Sextant, is this the best you could come up with for Valentines Day? Steak-man is the stuff of horror stories. You should have saved him for Halloween.
ReplyDeleteDonna
DeleteOr maybe an episode of the Twilight Zone. If the girl hadn't come back I would have thought it a good Thanksgiving story for her, as it played out maybe April Fools day. When the universe screams a message at someone, they should listen. Thanks for tuning in.
I LOVE hamburgers. My favorite.
ReplyDeleteSarah,
DeleteA love for hamburgers display character in my book. Do like A-1 on them?
Thanks for stopping by and commenting.