Book Review: The Art of Sleeping Alone

The Art of Sleeping Alone: Why One French Woman Suddenly Gave Up Sex by Sophie Fontanel
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Disappointing.  I don't think her experience is all that terribly unusual.  Many people go through periods of abstention, usually not as long, and usually not self enforced.

Caution Spoiler:[ Her story struck me as though she grew weary of and her body rejected being used by men who did not love her but found her a convenient lover.  I believe that she was tired of being an appliance.  I can understand her desire to get away from that situation, in fact I think it was noble of her to do so.  If a situation is not fulfilling one's happiness then they should endeavor to change.  Take a vacation from men, and leave loveless sex forever.   But then it struck me that rather than trying to find a meaningful loving relationship, she just seemed to take much smug satisfaction at being the odd woman out and watching her friends scramble to fix her life, while their own were so obviously full of faults.  So after quite some period of time she began to feel "insinuating vibrations" and the book ends with her starting an affair with a married man.  Perhaps all she wants from life are on and off periods of loveless sex.  It struck me that she wasted her sexual prime trying to prove some point to herself and her friends, but in the end what ever that point was, she didn't seem to learn it very well.  (hide spoiler)]

Her story struck me as though she grew weary of and her body rejected being used by men who did not love her but found her a convenient lover. I believe that she was tired of being an appliance. I can understand her desire to get away from that situation, in fact I think it was noble of her to do so. If a situation is not fulfilling one's happiness then they should endeavor to change. Take a vacation from men, and leave loveless sex forever. But then it struck me that rather than trying to find a meaningful loving relationship, she just seemed to take much smug satisfaction at being the odd woman out and watching her friends scramble to fix her life, while their own were so obviously full of faults. So after quite some period of time she began to feel "insinuating vibrations" and the book ends with her starting an affair with a married man. Perhaps all she wants from life are on and off periods of loveless sex. It struck me that she wasted her sexual prime trying to prove some point to herself and her friends, but in the end what ever that point was, she didn't seem to learn it very well.   

End of Spoiler

This book was very short, possibly thankfully so.  It is divided up into short vignettes that I invariably found were just starting to get interesting and I would flip the page to find that it ended two or three sentences later.  It seemed to be written with some artsy Victorian modesty that implied much but told very little.  I found the prose too flowery and vague.  Its not 1850, so there is no need to appeal to the delicate sensibilities regarding subjects not suitable for mixed company.  

My biggest disappointment with this book was that I was hoping to learn something and it didn't happen.  I spent my teens and early 20s mostly in a state of celibate longing for love and intertwined with that love,  sexual intimacy.  When I found it, I regretted the time that was squandered.  I didn't like sleeping alone, and I was hoping for something that would shed a positive light on her experience.   If there was a lesson in the human condition to be had here, it went over my head.    


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