Musings of Navigating The Finite remainder of life from Porchville, with the hope of a glimpse of The Infinite

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Loss of Innocence Part 1

It started innocently enough.  My can of Gillette Foamy shaving cream (Regular grade, red can, ultra-cheapo, no swilliness, and no fragrance) got to the end where, in a sad diarrheic death spiral, it spit out gas and a watery soapy slop resembling cream more than whipped cream.  My past experience has always been that the slop at the end of the can was not worth the aggravation of using it.  Having the slop drip off my face and the razor did not justify the money saved by squeezing out 5 more sloppy shaves.  As such my usual practice was to toss the can at the first spit near the end and start a new can.  On this particular morning, I was running short on time and was too damned lazy to go down in the basement to retrieve the next can.  So I used the slop, but bearing in mind something that I had recently read, you only need a little bit of shaving cream.  It doesn’t have to be an inch thick like they show in the ads on TV.  So I applied it sparingly and I was pleasantly surprised.  The slop although drippy, gave a much better shave than the foam.  Hmmm!   So instead of throwing it out, I used it to the very bloody end and decided I liked the shave from the slop much better, especially after I started using the next can and got back to shaving with the relatively dry foam.  

This got me thinking about when I was a kid, my father shaved with a straight razor (the thoughts of which still makes me shiver), shaving mug, and a brush.  He used Williams Mug shaving soap.  So I got to wondering, does that stuff still exist?  Indeed it does. 

Image Credit:

A quick glance at Google indicated that it was available at Walgreens.  Well this was all sort of a day dream, a blast from the past, and I put it out of my mind.  A few days later I found myself riding past a Walgreens and a wild hair struck me…what the hell give it a try.  I wasn’t going to bother with a brush and mug, just get the soap and apply it with a wash cloth just to try it out.  Walgreens did not have Williams Mug soap, not even a place for it ( a second look at the web revealed that Walgreens only carries it as an Internet sale). They did, however, have a Van Der Hagen Premium Shave Set that included a dark green ceramic shave bowl, a boar bristle brush and premium shave soap.  

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All for 11 bucks.  They also had another Van Der Hagen set with a badger hair brush for about 34 bucks.  My animal loving wife would crown me for the boar bristle brush but at least I could make the argument that it came from a slaughter house, much like leather.  The notions of badgers being trapped for a badger hair shaving  brush would never fly.  Besides 11 bucks is much more palatable than 34 and I loved the beautiful dark green ceramic bowl.  I have been a sucker for dark green in the past 20 years and I don’t know why.  So I bought it and entered unwittingly into a new phase in my life.    

So now being a proud owner of soap, bowl, and brush, what exactly do you do with this?  Yeah I know, you wet the brush, slop it around the soap, and then smear it on your face, but surely there must be proper techniques?  How do you ensure you get the lather you want, how exactly do you use the brush?  So in these modern times, what does one do when faced with an unknown?  Consult the Internet of course, and fear not there has to be 700 bazillion Internet sites, shaving forums, and YouTube videos showing you how to use your bowl, brush, and soap in the most effective way…and hence I lost my innocence in the world of shaving even though I have been practicing this art in one form or another for better than a half century. 

Welcome to the world of wet shaving.  Yes, there is an entire subculture out there devoted to the ultimate shave. It is hardly visible to the shoppers of the brick and mortar stores with their preponderance of Gillette and Schick shaving products.  Simply Google “wet shaving” and stand back. 

My particular favorite is The Sharpologist

He has a very informative  blog and some great how to shave videos.   

I loved the bowl and the brush, but the soap while giving an excellent shave is smelly, a sort of a rose smell.  My wife gets migraines from fragrances so we have both become fragrance averse.  I found the whiffs of rose throughout the day to be annoying.  Besides why would they give a man’s product a rose fragrance?  I am wussie enough without smelling like a rose on top of it.  I looked around at the various drug stores but couldn’t find William’s Mug soap.  So I looked on Amazon, not only did they have Williams, they have a myriad of other brands some of which are quite expensive.  I also noted that Van Der Hagen made a unscented luxury soap.  I ordered some Williams and the Van Der Hagen Unscented from Amazon.  But being a cheap bastard, I need to buy some other stuff to get the order over $35 for free shipping.  I don’t belong  to Prime.  

As noted above there is this entire subculture residing on the Internet about wet shaving, so I started reading about this stuff.  In fact, it became something of a hobby.  Shaving a hobby?  I have to be nuts.  Anyhow, the general consensus is that the only shave brush worth owning is a silver tipped badger hair brush.  Yeah right.  My wife will divorce me for animal cruelty.  So I opt for a “faux” silver tipped badger hair brush made with synthetic fibers.    That will fly with my wife.  I also read that a brush must hang bristles down when not in use or eventually the water will damage the knot inside the handle.  So I should buy a shaving stand that holds the brush and razor.  So I ordered the stand, the brush, and two types of soap.  Yepper, I am well over the $35 mark for free shipping.  This is indeed turning into a hobby, a bit of a costly one.     

When my shipment arrived,  I popped out the smelly Van Der Hagen soap from the bowl and set in a cake of Williams.  With my new brush, which is quite beautiful, I lather up the Williams.  It is  fine except that it smells like you are shaving with lemon Pledge furniture polish.  But after you rinse it off, there is no lingering smell.  The synthetic brush is wimpy and I don’t like it.  I like the stiff bristles of the junky boar brush better.  I used the Williams for about a week.  I like the Williams despite the Lemon Pledge smell.  It gives a good shave and I liked how it rinses off clean and leaves no residual smell or greasiness.  From my readings, my acceptance of Williams Mug shaving soap makes me something of a cretin in the world of wet shaving, I may as well be using Fels-Naptha.  Also from my reading, I was anxious to try the Van Der Hagen Unscented Luxury soap.  So I popped out the William’s, stuck it in a zip lock bag and put in a cake of the VDH Unscented.   Absolutely wonderful!  No fragrance.  It takes a bit longer to whip up a lather, and it leaves a slightly greasy residue, but very slight.  It shaves good and ITS NOT SMELLY!  This is my soap.

The stand?  

Perfecto?  Surely I jest!  No that is the brand name.  It is beautiful.  Good chrome plating, sturdy, heavy weighted base with a neoprene scuff pad on the bottom, well made, not a bad price. It worked great for the brush, but not so well for my razor, a two blade Gillette Sensor.  This razor has a wedge shaped head.  It ends up sitting on two diametrical points across the wedge on the legs of the stand.  With the slightest vibration, the razor would rotate in the stand and fall between the legs.  I solved that problem by installing two wire ties on the upper handle and placing the nubs 180 degrees apart.  The razor now sits in the stand on the two nubs.  It works good but looks like hell.  My eventual plan for a solution was to install an o-ring across the legs of the stand and use it as a rubber band to force the razor back into the end of the slot where it can’t fall.  However further reading on the internet invalidated that need.

My Perfecto Shaving Stand with the beautiful albeit wimpy fake silver
tipped badger brush and Gillette Sensor Razor jury rigged with wire ties.

Oddly enough, this crap isn’t just shopping for shaving supplies.  It is turning into something of a hobby.  I start reading about brushes, bowls, various soaps.  Well reading any kind of shaving forum you get exposed to the idea that Gillette and Schick are two corporate behemoths pushing off excessive technological wonders in the form of cartridge razors that are totally not needed and raping your wallet in the process.  A real man shaves with a double edge safety razor and bleeds a bit and saves tons of money on blades.  Quite actually I rather believe that a real man would shave with a straight razor finely honed before each use with a leather strop…but let’s face it, it takes a lot of balls to put one of those things to your face.  So I think the double edged (abbreviated DE) aficionados are opting for an old time traditional solution but one in which you probably will not slit your throat if a car backfires out on the street.   So because this has become something of a hobby and because my Gillette Sensor looks so sucky sitting in its chrome plated stand with a pair of wire ties for supports, I start believing all the claims that double edged safety razors are the way to go. 

In part 2, which will come soon, we will investigate my further loss of innocence (and blood) in the world of fine German razors and the ninja sword of double edged blades, the Japanese Feather Double Edged Blade.  

Monday, August 10, 2015

The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating by Andy Stanley

The New Rules for Love, Sex, and DatingThe New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating by Andy Stanley
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The Kindle version was cheap, $2.99 so I bought it out of a curiosity for what the loyal opposition is doing.  While I am a rather poor excuse for a Christian (I like Christmas Trees) with a one way ticket to hell for some matters involving lusting over a bare thigh (in church no less) for which I refuse to ask forgiveness, I am a rather dyed in the wool monogamist.  So for the price, I thought I would see what the good pastor has to say.

Actually I was pleasantly surprised.  The book starts out fairly secular.  Later chapters he drags out the sin and purity and starts thumping the Bible, but if you can get around the rhetoric,  for the most part the suggestions in this book are good and would apply to non-religious folks as well as the religious.  Let us say that I agree with most of his methods.

His main tenet is that instead of looking for the right partner become the right partner.  Become the person that you are looking for.  Pretty good advice.   He goes a little overboard in my estimation on premarital sex...the sin and purity stuff that doesn't set well me.  That said however I will admit that I think he is right, jumping into sex prematurely blinds one to the relationship flaws.  Sex is a powerful binding element in human relationships, but it does not guarantee longevity in a committed relationship.   He states the way to resolve your relationship issues is with a clear head before you get involved with sex.  I agree, but I don't think waiting until your  wedding night is a good maneuver for determining your sexual compatibility.  But then again I don't find premarital sex conducted in a committed loving relationship with the aim of marriage to be sinful.   Am I willing to bet my Soul on that?  Yes, but I am not willing to bet yours so read what he has to say and decide for yourself.

While I didn't agree with all he had to say and perhaps the theology behind it, I have to say if you can ignore the churchy hype, this guy has something important to say about love, sex, and marriage.  

View all my reviews

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Grapes of Wrath

The Grapes of WrathThe Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

With the flood of ink over the years regarding the Grapes of Wrath, I sort of regard my opinion about the book to be much on the order of Ma's reaction to Rosasharne's worries about sin:

“Rosasharn, you’re jest one person, an’ they’s a lot of other folks. You git to your proper place. I knowed people built theirself up with sin till they figgered they was big mean shucks in the sight a the Lord.’’
“But, Ma——’’
“No. Jes’ shut up an’ git to work. You ain’t big enough or mean enough to worry God much. An’ I’m gonna give you the back a my han’ if you don’ stop this pickin’ at yourself.’’
Steinbeck, John (2006-03-28). The Grapes of Wrath (p. 367). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

I ain't big enough or smart enough to worry the literate much with my petty views.  I think the best thing I have seen on this book was a comment by RitaSkeeter in the Classics For Beginners group discussion at Goodreads.  See message 104 at:

I wonder if the difference for me, is that East of Eden was a definite story about people and their lives. Whereas, with GoW it feels more like Steinbeck is trying to capture an era, a period of history. So the dialect, the essay chapters, all become necessary for helping him re-create that period and show the lives of many different people, in a way that a straight saga focusing on a particular family, like that East of Eden - wouldn't be able to achieve.

The book struck me as being overly theatrical (especially when listening to the Audible version) yet still there is something about this book that speaks to the Soul directly.  As Rita stated above, Steinbeck captures the era and as he himself wrote

"I want to put a tag of shame on the greedy bastards who are responsible for this [the Great Depression and its effects]." He famously said, "I've done my damndest to rip a reader's nerves to rags."

And rip your nerves to rags he does.  The feeling of desperation at the end of the book is just overwhelming.   It is sort of like the paintings of Thomas Hart Benton, they are cartoonish and often over sexualized and yet you find yourself staring at them in awe,  gleaning the truth they contain.

While I don't have much to add to the mountain of reviews for the book, I would like to point out some nice features in the Penguin Classics edition for Kindle and the whisper synched Audible version.

NOTE: CURRENTLY, if you buy the Kindle version first, you can get the Audible version at a considerable discount.

These two editions are synched so that you can maintain your place across devices, and if you have a device that supports it (Kindle Fire Tablet), you can do the Immersion Reading.  Immersion reading is where you read the Kindle book and listen to it simultaneously.  The pages flip automatically and a moving cursor highlights the exact text as it plays.  I find this feature to be really nice when reading the classics, and with much of the conversation written in dialect, it was very helpful with the Grapes of Wrath.

This Penguin Classic version has an extensive introductory essay by Robert DeMott that explains the book and Steinbeck's motivations and goals for the book.  It also contains numerous automated footnotes that explains a terminology or reference that may not be apparent to the modern reader.

An example:

"He’s a nice sort of a guy when he ain’t stinko.“ 1

1 stinko: U.S. slang meaning intoxicated with alcohol.

I have read the Penguin Editions for some of the other classics, and while they are generally more expensive than the other editions (older classics often have free Kindle versions) I think the benefits of these explanatory footnotes are worth the extra cost.

Regarding the Audible version, it was nothing short of magnificent.  The narrator, Dylan Baker, gave a wonderful performance.

In my mind Baker captured the voices and the atmosphere of the novel perfectly.  Some of the other versions I sampled sounded like a high school play in comparison.  My only complaint with this version is the few bars of harmonica music that ends each chapter.  If you like harmonica music, you may find this a big plus.  To me it was irritating at first but I got used to it.  I would imagine it would neither make nor break the book for most people.

If Grapes of Wrath is on your list of reads, I would highly recommend both of these versions.  Even if you do not own a device that supports Immersion Reading, you can still listen to the Audible version on a MP-3 player and read the book on any Kindle device or even a DTB.  You just have to flip the pages yourself.  Excellent book, excellent written version, and an excellent Audible version.  Five Stars Plus!

It is also the source of on of my favorite quotes:

“Wisht I knowed what all the sins was, so I could do ’em.” pg 388.

I read this back when I was a is amazing what you can forget in 50 years.

View all my reviews

Thomas Hart Benton:

Note:  Click on image to see full size.

Somewhat cartoonish:  Achelous and Hercules 1947"Thomas Hart Benton - Achelous and Hercules - Smithsonian" by Thomas Hart Benton - This file was provided to Wikimedia Commons by the Smithsonian American Art Museum as part of a cooperation project.. Licensed under Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons -

And sometimes overly sexualized:  Persephone, 1939
Image Credit:  University of Virginia,  Benton Gallery 

Thursday, April 30, 2015

Look For A Blue Box

The first thing I would like to establish is that to the best of my knowledge, I am of sound mind.  I am not senile, well not totally, and not yet.   I recently commented on a review of Great Expectations by Charles Dickens over in Goodreads.  In my comment, I stated that I was forced to read Great Expectations at least 137 times when I was in junior high and high school.  Every year, once again we suffered through Dickens' boring, stuffy and many worded account of Pip saving the escaped prisoner down in marshes, then being invited to Miss Havisham's broken down mansion where time had literally stopped on the hour of her wedding day when she was left at the altar, Pip having the hots for Estella, and becoming a gentleman with great expectations, and finally living the life of an over extended dandy in London.  Suddenly it occurred to me that I could not have possibly read Great Expectations 137 times.  As dumb as I was, I didn't flunk any grades so therefore I spent exactly 6 years in junior high and high school.  How can that be? Only 6 years!   So in a semi-honest accounting of Great Expectations, I was forced to read it more than once.  I would estimate three times, but it was at least twice.  The trouble is that the memories of reading  Great Expectations resides in "seems that" memory, as in:  "It seems that I read Great Expectations 137 times as a kid."

 Seems that memory has several variations:  I seemed to have... Surely I must have...When I was a kid, I....  Seems that memory is measured in half lives, not exactly like radioactive elements in which a half life is a fixed physical measurement, the amount of time that half the mass of the element will decay.   No, seems that half lives are psychological and are subject to Einsteins theory of relativity.  The easiest example I can provide is compare the amount of time you spent doing something you find  enjoyable, eating chocolate cake, watching re-runs of Gilligan's Island, having the last time you sat in the dentist's chair.  The passage of time in your mind is relative.  So it seems that I spent half my life in grade school.  It seems that I spent half my life working.  It seems that I spent half my life in the Air Force.  It seems that I spent half my life as a virgin.  None of these things are true, it just seems that way in my seems that memory.

For extra points, Bussman, what year is this?
Image Credit:

So it seems that I spent half my life in the dark ages of the Eisenhower Administration.  Sex did not exist during the Eisenhower Administration.  That was invented in 1968 by my generation, the baby boomers!  The most self indulgent generation known to history.  "Ha!" you say,  "Sextant, you fool, where do you think all those babies in the baby boom came from?"  Well hell everyone knows that.  The stork brought them.  There were storks all over the damned place during the Eisenhower Administration, on pickle jars, on diaper trucks, in department stores.   Ahh the 50s,  men were men, they saved the world from the fascists, and women were women, they riveted the planes and welded the tanks and ships that saved the world from the fascists.  Every one was wholesome, good, God fearing, men were dads and women were moms, and babies were brought by the stork.  Married couples on TV had separate single beds.  Indeed it was the stork.

Yet there were these troubling rumors.  There was this dirty game that big people played.  The man and the lady would take off all their clothes and the man would stick his thing in the lady's thing.  In one variation of this story, he would then fart.  There was even a horrible tale that this was where babies came from.  One kid said that he saw a picture of a baby sucking on a woman's kooty in his mother's magazine called Red Book.  That kid was full of shit, he claimed his uncle was Warren Spahn, and that his dad had a Thompson machine gun up in the attic that he brought back from the war.  But when we contemplated these stories, certain things didn't quite add up.  There were some reports from some kids of locked bedroom doors, rhythmic squeaking of bed springs, and muffled cries.   What was with those covers on the paperback books in the drug store?  They always had naked ladies on them.  You never got to see anything but their backs and a little bit of their bums, but they were naked and they had this look on their face...we never saw our mothers look that way.  Why were there girls and boys?  Why did women have kooties, but girls didn't.  Why did we have balls?  No body knew what they were for, except to hurt like hell if you got hit there by a baseball, and you got in trouble if you asked about them.  There was a lot of mystery during the Eisenhower Administration, and like most things, we young lads would discuss this with great curiosity and then move on to the really cool caterpillar that was on the tomato plant up in the garden, or go read a comic book.

Anyhow along with these wild stories, we kept on hearing about Kotex, usually in the form of some dumb book title joke like "The Red River Valley by the Kotex Kid."  We laughed at these jokes because it was important to not be a rube, but we didn't know why they were funny.  The Yellow River by I. P. Daily and The Cat's Revenge by Claude Balls made sense.  The Kotex Kid?   What the hell is that? Well it seems that I spent half my life wondering just what the hell is a Kotex and why these jokes were supposed to be funny.  We heard enough about them that we knew that girls needed them and it was something dirty.   Exactly what they were and why they were needed remained unknown.  So one day several us lads, set up a commission for the study of Kotex.  We theorized like theoretical physicists about what these things could be, and why they were so mysterious.  You would think that the easiest thing to do would be ask our parents.  Oh no, no, no!  You never approached your parents about dirty stuff.  They would get all nervous and start sputtering.  If you persisted, it was a dandy way to find yourself hooked up to some chores.   "A young man who has time to think about such things, has time to go weed the garden."  Oh hell no.  Parents were strictly off limits about anything dirty.  I think at one time we may have even stooped to ask a girl, but girls seemed to take great pride in them being smart and keeping us lads dumb, and there was always the chance that she would squeal to her mother and then there would be hell to pay.  It was best to keep our scientific investigations limited to the members of our inquiry board.

Look for a blue box with a white rose.
Image Credit:

So three of us lads on the Kotex Commission were up under the oak tree holding a theoretical discourse.  Along comes Billy, Warren Spahn's nephew, he was two years older than us and my dad called him a wisenheimer.  He was also the kid I did my naked dance for the girls when I was 7 years old under The Tough Old Tree of Treachery.  Now Billy was a natural born bullshitter, so we didn't always believe him.  That business about the baby sucking on the kooty had us laughing for weeks..."he thinks we are so dumb, like we will believe any of his bullshit.  Ha!"  So he asks about the topic of inquiry.  Kotex.  "Oh Kotex.  The Red River Valley by the Kotex Kid."  "Yeah, yeah, Billy, we heard that one,  but what the hell are they?"  "I don't know, ladies use them." "What for?"  "Don't know,  but look under your parent's bed.  They come in a big blue box with a white rose on it."

Billy puttered off to more interesting pursuits.  But now we had something concrete...a blue box with a white rose, either that or another one of Billy's bullshit stories.  OK so we all decided that we would each look under our parents' beds for the big blue box, and report our findings the next day.   It seemed that it had to be weeks before I finally had the house to myself.  My dad was at the bar,  my mother took my sister across the street for coffee with the neighbor lady.  I have about an hour!   I look under the bed.  Some shoes but no big blue box, grrrr, that Billy!  But wait what about the closet?    I look in and there were a bunch of shoe boxes piled up in the corner on the floor, quite a few actually sort of stacked like building blocks.  Hmmm!  So I carefully part the boxes.  A patch of blue!  My heart starts racing.  I carefully move the boxes out of the way remembering the order.  There it is, the blue box with the white rose just like Billy said!  Holy Shit! It says KOTEX!!!!  Right on the box!   How can they do that?  You can't put swear words on a box!  I pull the box out.  Fem-a-something napkins!  What the hell!   Holy shit again, they are made by Kimberly Clark!  Kimberly Clark makes Kleenex, not dirty stuff like Kotex.  The top of the box was ripped open.  I carefully peer in.  What the hell are those?  I reach in the box and pull one out.  It was a nondescript  cotton pad about 6 or 7 inches long, 3 inches wide and maybe an 1 1/2 inches thick, wrapped in a layer of gauze with an odd blue line, like from a fountain pen,  down the middle of it.  I stood there, my hands trembling with excitement.  I am holding a Kotex!  Holy shit!

It seems that I spent half my life in that house before I went in the military when I was 21, living  with a mother and sister.  I never once seen a Kotex go in or out of that house.  If it hadn't been for Billy's blue box, Kotex would have remained a purely theoretical object.  Of course by the time I got out of the service, Kotex was then advertised on television.  A young, attractive, athletic woman, wearing a pair of white short shorts, was always doing the most amazing splits with her legs.  Yet even then,  a young lad would not be able to discern what they were or their purpose.  He would only know that they were for those special days of the month and that you could remain fully active, even swim, which would then switch to the young woman with a white bathing suit diving into a pool "with confidence."   If the young lad was observant, he might deduce that this product had something to do with the nether regions from the camera angle and the ability to spread one's legs without embarrassment.  Embarrassment of what, who knows?

I don't know, it seems that I now spend half my life watching cartoon bears wipe their asses on TV and talk about enjoying the go, young English women talk about how fresh your bum feels, and sultry ladies discussing Viagra (and seeking medical attention for erections that last over four hours*), and his and her KY intimate lubricant.  I kind of long for some mystery in the world.  It seemed that I spent half my life during the Eisenhower Administration when such products did not exist, but it seems the other half of my life is now spent having them jammed in my face.  

Anyhow I give thanks that it seemed that I spent half my life during the fifties, when kids were still allowed to be kids.  We had our own societies, we had our own rules and laws, and we had a hell of a good time figuring out great mysteries like Kotex, kooties, and the dirty games that grownups played.

*Post Script: Erections lasting longer than 4 hours.  Have you ever wondered what they do for this condition?   I imagine doctors rushing in with some high tech crash cart, slapping electrodes on to the errant member.  "Clear!"  Zap!  "Oh thank God doctor, it was 3 hours, 59 minutes and 50 seconds!  You saved my life with 10 seconds to spare."   Hmmm, perhaps,  but actually it reminds me of a story that I seemed to have spent half my life hearing when I was a lad.  A young man goes in for a hernia operation.  They bring in a young candy striper to shave him for his surgery.  Well of course she has to move his pecker which is conveniently to the story, laying across the bulge in his groin.  At her touch, he naturally gets an erection.   The candy striper runs out of the room and comes back with the head nurse, always the head if the head nurse has nothing better to do than correct way ward hard ons.  The head nurse then sizes up the situation and applies a highly accurate two fingered karate chop to head of the young man's penis.  The erection immediately becomes flaccid, and the young man can not attain another erection for two weeks (always two weeks).   Actually I don't know what the big deal is, it seemed that I spent half my life, (well, OK,  two decades) with an erection from puberty at age 11 to well into my 30s.  


For everything that you ever wanted to know about sanitary napkins but were afraid to ask, check out this site:, Overview of sanitary napkins (menstrual pads) of past and present,
By Tranquilheart 

You have to admire Kimberly Clark for their social responsibility.  They provided helpful hints for picnics, dinner on a train, and remembering names:

VW Diaper Bus: The photo is labeled VW-62_63panel_diaper

Monday, March 16, 2015

Damaged Goods: New Perspectives on Christian Purity, by Diannna Anderson

Damaged Goods: New Perspectives on Christian PurityDamaged Goods: New Perspectives on Christian Purity by Dianna Anderson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I wished I could have read this book when I was in ninth grade (which was over 50 years ago).

I approached this book as something of an outsider.  I left the church and Christianity, indeed 50 years ago, over shame and guilt about sexuality.  I was forced to go to Lutheran Catechism.  Sex and purity was mentioned but not hammered into our heads like the evangelical purity culture.  But none the less there was a tremendous emphasis on SIN!  SIN!   SIN!.   Unlike the narrator in Grapes of Wrath who said after a traveling preacher had attempted to save his soul:

 "Wisht I knowed what all the sins was, so I could do ’em."

I really had no desire to do any of the sins except that one that a young lad wants to do with a young lady.  I was pretty good on the 10 commandments.  Well most of them anyhow, but I burnt (as St Paul said) with a desire for loving sexual union with a woman.  I was also pathologically shy so the actual chances of me committing such a sin was almost nil,  but the Lutherans had me covered on that.  Yes, there are three ways to sin, by: thought, word, and deed.   The deeds (other than those of a solitary nature...which will also earn you a free trip across the River Styx) I was good on.  Even by word I didn't do too bad. There was no use of a pimply faced, skinny, awkward  dwebe like me making any claims of getting laid...I had a red V painted on my forehead.  To even remark on the desire to do so would start a bunch of stories...everyone in 8th and 9th grades was getting laid except me.  I knew it was 99% bullshit but still these guys were convincing bullshitters because they had the muscles to back up their claims against 98 pound weakling doubters like me.

That leaves thought.  Oh my yes, I entertained many an impure thought and after a time quit asking for forgiveness.   Repent and promise that I would not do that again?  Hell I was lusting in church.   I remember of praying about it...nothing, well that is because I was not genuine or some how not good enough.

Then one day I got pissed off and said enough.   I didn't feel this way when I was 9 years old.  Prior to puberty, girls were fascinating but I wasn't damning myself to hell over them. I couldn't help the eroticism that burned within me.  I didn't ask for it, and I was sick and tired of feeling guilt and shame over it...especially considering I wasn't even getting laid.  I quit the church and have never since asked for forgiveness of my many impure thoughts.

That was child's play compared to the situation that Anderson describes.   I have to admire her courage to stand up against her culture and protest.  She makes some excellent points in the book especially about God not shaming us.  I was a little disappointed in the later chapters which seemed a bit general, diaphanous, and repetitious.  She wants us to do a lot of "honoring."  It got trite after a while.   Never the less, this was a very good book and one that I think would be helpful to those who have endured the difficulties and shame of the purity culture.

View all my reviews


For those who actually want to read a review of the book instead of my tales of personal, teenage, marinated in sin, sexual angst,  here is an excellent article:

Here is the article written by the author noted in the above article:

Author's website and blog: 

Saturday, March 14, 2015

The Pi Moment 3/14/15 9:26:53 And No Google Doodle! Heresy!

The Pi Day 2010 Google Doodle
Image Credit:  Google
Pi = 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510...

Today is the most accurate Pi Day we will have in this century.  3/14/15 and Google chooses to ignore the day.  Some people's children!  As such, in honor of the day I dragged out the Doodle from 2010 which as far as I know was no great shakes of a day for Pi, so why a Doodle in 2010 but not in 2015 when it is really cool.  But what is really cool today is that if you measure time with a 12 hour clock (verses 24 hour clock),  you will have two very accurate Pi moments, seconds actually:

3/14/15 9:26:53  AM & PM

It doesn't work with a 24 hour clock because technically the morning is 3 14 15 09 26 53 and the evening would be 3 14 15 21 26 53.  Of course we are also dropping the 20 in 2015.  We feel justified in do so, simply because we are alive right now and we want to celebrate the day and to hell the inconvenient 2000 years that throws the number out of whack.  This alludes to the fact that while we may take pride that we are witness to a once a century event, we should mourn that we missed the really big Pi Day which would have been

 March 14, 1592 with Pi seconds at 6:53:58.  

That one was pretty big.  The next time you will be able to do that is March 14, 15926 (13,911 years from now, alas).  But take heart that Pi Day will only have Pi minutes, not Pi seconds:

3/14/15926 5:35

The next digit is 8.  The biggest second you can have is 59 (60 if you cheat).  So looking at the string of numbers we will not be able to have another Pi second (with a full year like what happened in 1592) until:

March 14, 1,592,653,589,793 2:38:46

That is a whopping 1.59 trillion years into the future.  My guess is no one will be around to notice.  Anyhow can you see what I mean about mourning the loss of 1592?  It was a great year for Pi.  I wonder did anyone notice?

EDIT 3/15/15:  Taking a second look at this I just realized that there is a slight flaw in my logic.  I am accepting single digit hours, but not minutes or seconds.   But doing an image search of digital watches, I find that unless in 24 hour format, most watches display  h:mm:ss for single digit hours and hh:mm:ss for 10 thru 12.   None display single digit minutes or seconds.  The single digit minutes and seconds are always preceded by a zero. So going by standard time format my claim still holds true.

EDIT 3/20/15, ERROR CORRECTION On the date 1.59 trillion date, incredibly I somehow missed a digit in the original post and had a date 159 billion years in the future.  How exactly I did that when I copied an pasted the number is beyond me.  In any event the date has been corrected.  It was only 1.433 trillion year error.

Another thing that should be noted is that once you can get the digits of Pi to line up to a second in the 12 hour digital clock format  _h:mm:ss format, then the remainder of your Pi moment is simply a decimal fraction that theoretically will go out to an infinite number of digits.  So to tell exactly what time our Pi moment occurred we would need a clock with an infinite number of digits.  However, in a practical sense,  our universe has a limit on how short you can slice time.  It is known as Planck Time and represents the time it takes light in a vacuum to travel one Planck length.  In some circles it is known as a jiffy.    1 jiffy = 1 Planck Time = 5.39 X 10^-44 second.  Hence any digits finer than a jiffy are meaningless.  Think of a jiffy being the fastest tick in time allowed in our universe.  So our moment has to be a bit slower or it is literally out of this world.  So our real Pi moment has to be at least equal to or a bazzilionth of a second longer than longer than 1 plank time.   To put that in context, think of having a stop watch that could measure microseconds (millionths of a second).  So you could see an event, start the watch, see a second event and stop the watch.  So theoretically you could tell how many microseconds the event lasted.   The only problem is that the response time of your nervous system probably limits the accuracy to hundreds of a second.  So if your event took 0.215,435 seconds, all you can say is that it took about .21 seconds.  The 5,435 microseconds would be meaningless accuracy.  

Image Credit: Wikipedia
"Pi pie2" by GJ - Pi_pie2.jpg. Licensed under
Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons -

So what exactly is Pi?  It is the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter which always works out to 3.14159....   So roll a toy wheel, 1 inch in diameter, exactly one revolution and the center of that wheel would move 3.14159... inches across the floor.  Roll any wheel of any size and it will always roll 3.14159 times the length of the diameter.  There is a cute animated graphic of this at Wikipedia. To me, being somewhat of a mathematical nit wit, that seems very odd.  But the circumference of any circle is always Pi times the diameter.  Very convenient but also very odd.  

Pi has another very odd property.  You can never quite calculate the exact value of Pi.  It is irrational and the decimal value goes forever in a non-repeating sequence. 

In my working life, I used Pi probably twice a day in some calculation or other on a slow day.  Round things seem to be favored in the industry in which I worked.   Here is a trick that I used quite often.  I was responsible for a bunch of facilities with miles of pipe.  Repairs or modifications required ordering new pipe.  Measuring pipe diameters of installed pipe is a bit tricky.  If it is small diameter you can use calipers, but as the diameter increases soon the jaws of the caliper no longer reach the sides of  the pipe.  You can eyeball it but there is a much simple way.  Use a flexible tape or just a piece of string to measure the circumference of the pipe and then divide the length by Pi.  Voila! Pipe size?  Not quite!  Pipe sizes in North America below 14 inch pipe are weird.  You must consult a nominal pipe size table such as this:

For example you measure a pipe and the circumference is, what a coincidence, 3.14 inches.  You do the math and  that yields a diameter of about 1 inch.  Common sense would dictate you have 1 inch pipe. Wrong!  Looking at the table at the above site yields that the nominal pipe size of 3/4 inch has an actual outer diameter of 1.05 inches.  One inch nominal pipe is actually 1.32 inches in diameter. 

All you ever wanted to know about pipe but were afraid to ask.  

Have a Happy Pi Day and a Pi moment this evening.  


EDIT 3/20/15:  The Internet never fails to delight.  Have you ever wondered what is the one millionth digit of Pi after the decimal point?  Burning question I know.  Well now you can find out at:


After holding the page down button for several minutes, I watched 999,999 digits go whizzing by and as a public service,  the answer to the question (in case you are ever on Jeopardy),  the millionth digit after the decimal point in Pi?

What is 1 Alec.

Here are the first and last lines of Pi taken out to one million decimal places:

3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510582... lots and lots of digits...

346460422090106105779458151 ...and that’s one million digits of Pi after the decimal point!

According to Wikipedia, as of October 2014 Pi has been calculated out to 13,300,000,000,000 decimal places.



Thursday, March 12, 2015

Virtual Alert

My good Blogger friend Alicia published a post about her brothers being in the Marine Corps and having rifles.

Blogger, Titere con Bonete, My Stupid Little Brothers

Being a veteran (USAF) I touched an M-16 not quite as often as a crescent wrench or soldering iron, but yeah I shot an M-16.  So I felt the need to comment, which turned rather lengthy and I figured what hell I am going to publish it at my blog too.

A real M-16
Image Credit: Wikipedia, "M16A1 brimob" by User:Dragunova - Personal photo.
Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons -

I was in the Air Force and of course we are bigger on airplanes than rifles. So while I didn't have a rifle, I did have about 100 F-4 Phantoms that I worked on.  

My contact with rifles was somewhat laughable. Once a year I had to qualify with a M-16 (on the grounds of what now is Victorville Federal Penitentiary), so I touched an M-16 all of four times in my service career.  

At my base in California, I was on the alert roster which I qualified for by principally being not married. We were the forward tactical warriors (well that might be a tad strong term for an airplane repairman) who could at a moment's notice run out to the flight line with our tool boxes and duffle bags ready to go and board a C-130 and fly to any trouble spot in the world, commandeer a hunk of straight highway, and convert it into a operational tactical fighter base within 72 hours. Wow! I would have liked to see that happen. Well that was the theory anyhow. From a practical stand point it meant that once a year always on a Saturday morning, the siren would go off on the base at 0500 and we would muster to the pre-arranged rallying areas on the flight line. Here we would be issued an "M-16" and assigned a C-130 tail number that we were to fly out on. 
A Virtual M-16

The weapon was sort of a virtual M-16, actually it was a piece of oak tag with a number and a string on it, and you dare not lose it. If you lost this piece of paper, it was the equivalent of losing your weapon and you would be punished for it. Yet curiously we were not allowed to tie the tag on to our uniform (the equivalent of carrying an actual rifle with a should strap). That would be cheating and a violation of the uniform. So you folded the paper M-16 and put it in your fatigue shirt's pocket...which thoughtfully had a button specifically designed to help you retain your virtual M-16. When ordered "airman present your weapon for inspection" you unbuttoned your shirt pocket and gave the inquiring zebra the piece of paper. But also don't forget and let the bastard walk off with it. That would get you in trouble too. As valuable as this training is, it seemed to me that the Air Force could have afforded to buy some Daisy air rifles and just made sure they didn't give us any BBs. We would have shot our eyes out. 

So we would then commence waiting for the C-130s to land. The base logistic folks would drive all the equipment for fixing the aircraft out to the loading locations with fork trucks. Each 130 would carry so much equipment and so many troops. So we would wait and wait and wait and then wait some more. At some point a bagged lunch was provided, we were not allowed to leave. Then suddenly a zebra with a bull horn would call out a tail number. All the guys with that tail number would march out with their tool box and duffle bags (and of course their M-16) to the aircraft which would be sitting next to the equipment that it was supposed to take. 

A Real C-130  (perhaps a bit newer)
Image Credit:  Wikipedia

The aircraft were difficult to see, because they were virtual too. We had no idea that they had landed and were being refueled and loaded while we were waiting. So you would march out to a bunch of palleted equipment and check in with the crew chief of the C-130. He was real but an actor. Crew chiefs tend to be sergeants or staff sergeants (3 or 4 stripes) these guys were zebras and super zebras (6 to 8 stripes) chosen for their prickliness--yes the things on cactus and whatever else comes to mind. You had to check in with them, show your dog tags--military ID, open your tool box (it better have tools in it) and they would kick your duffle bag and it better be heavy and not filled with fluffed up newspapers. You also had to present your M-16 for inspection. They being super zebras would also take an opportunity to check your uniform, haircut, beard, shoe shine, and general espirit de corps (of which I thoroughly lacked--excuse me while I gag on the chicken shit...not to mention that the base laundry didn't always get the crease through the star on the chevrons on your sleeve--sometimes missing the chevrons altogether which would elicit a comment from the zebra which I parried back by showing the laundry ticket safety pinned to the inside of my shirt. That put them in a bit of a quandary, the base laundry employed moonlighting NCOs and we peasants were encouraged to use it. A lot guys didn't want to spend the money and the laundry was a bit heavy on the starch. I hated ironing, to me it was a bargain, and I loved when one of these many striped idiots commented on my creases and I could flash the laundry tag at them.)  

The sleeve crease was supposed to
split the star. 

Then we would mill around for an hour or so, then get ordered back to the rallying points. After all the virtual C-130s were loaded and crewed by the make believe crew chiefs, the virtual planes would all virtually take off to the wild blue yonder. Then around 1300 to 1500 hours the siren would sound again, just a short blast this time. We would check in again at our rallying point, surrender our weapons, and leave. The zebras would all head over to the NCO club and make up for lost time--nobody got drunk on the night before an alert, and life went on. It was a boring long day, ah but we demonstrated we were ready.  

Fleet Of Tactical Air Command virtual C-130s transporting
 the valorous 35th TAC Fighter Wing on Alert 1972.
Image Credit: Wikipedia

Theoretically, no one was supposed to know about the alerts. They were supposed to be a surprise. It could be real, you could theoretically be flying out. The entire base knew about it at least a day in advance. Your shop chief got you clued in that you will have your ass on the flight line at 0500 in the morning and you will not be a source of embarrassment to him...(be sober, shaved, have your dog tags and ID, have real tools in your tool box and real clothes in your duffle bag, and don't lose your weapon).